A "Message To All The Wanna Be DJ's!" Funny Cartoon (PLUS A DJ RYB RANT)
This video might not be that funny to everyone out there but if you are a DJ or know one, you can definitely relate to it. I can't remember how many times during my DJ career that I had someone come up to me and say some stupid shit like this. People think DJ'n is just as simple as pressing a button and you don't need any skill or practice to be good at it. That is really frustrating and annoying to hear because it took me years to perfect my craft and learn how to rock a crowd. Even to this day, I am still learning new techniques and improving every day.
Back when I was spinning in the clubs on a regular basis, we didn't have easy access to all of these DJ programs like Serato and Traktor Scratch. The original versions of these progams were starting to pop up but they were mad expensive and also weren't very consistent. I stuck with vinyl and CD's up until just a few years ago when I finally decided to pull the trigger and get Traktor. We also had to manually figure out the BPM of a song in order to know what other song to use for beat matching. I had to literally tap out on my leg what the general beat of the song was and make a guesstimate on the BPM. Shit is ridiculous now that I think about it!
On top of that, I had to lug all of my records and CD's (and sometimes my own equipment) to the gig and even though it sucked ass at the time, it was a good experience. It made me think about whether or not all of that effort was worth it to be a DJ and the answer was a resounding yes. Once you got the crowd moving and had them in the palm of your hands, it was possibly one of the best highs you could ever feel. It was a power trip. There was nothing like going from an empty to a packed dance floor by playing the right song and then keeping them out there the rest of the night because you kept making great decisions on the playlist. I would never plan what I was going to play ahead of time because I liked to feel the vibe of the crowd first. Once I knew what they were into and what it took to get them going, that's when I would start to access that catalog of related songs I had memorized.
It could suck when someone made a request because you had to go digging for it and hope that you had the song on hand. You couldn't just do a quick text search or even download the song in an instant if you didn't have it. I think the process actually helped my memory a ton because I could find any song within a minute or two and usually before the current song ended. I had to memorize 4 books of CD's and two crates of vinyl or otherwise I would have been lost. It's kind of crazy that I was able to pull that off looking back at it now.
As most of you know, bitches are crazy in general but when you are a DJ, it's on another level. They aren't afraid to make multiple requests (more like demands) and they always want their song played NOW. As much as I wanted to flip out on their ignorant impatient asses, I would have to deal with it and play their stupid requests pretty quickly or I would risk losing the crowd. If the girls aren't dancing, neither are the guys. I didn't want a group of 10 or more hot chicks leaving the club all at the same time. That doesn't sound like a lot but when you are in a small venue, that's not a good look. It was hard enough to get them in the door in the first place so your job is to keep them there by all means necessary. Girls are crazy enough to pay a $10 cover charge and then leave 3 songs later because they don't like what's being played. It's sounds ridiculous but it's true.
You learn real quickly that sometimes you have to bit your tongue and just play a shitty song that you don't really want to hear or might even hate because it's been so overplayed but you gotta do it. There are too many DJ's out there that only play what they want to hear with no consideration for the ladies. Dudes don't dance unless chicks are on the dance floor so you need to play what they like and stay away from the thugged out shit, at least until later in the night. Once you get them out there and they're drunk enough, you can eventually play whatever you want as long as it's reasonable. Believe me, I've gone from super poppy shit like Britney Spears and Lady Gaga right into some nasty shit like Akinyele's "Put it In Your Mouth" or Eazy-E's "Gimme Dat Nut" and it worked. You just have to know when the time is right.
So this long rant is basically my advice to all of the young and aspiring DJ's out there. I have no problem with people wanting to become a DJ and utilize all of the new technology available but don't think that you are going to be a superstar from day one. It takes a lot of hard work and practice, mixed in with some stress and frustration. It's a learning process and just know that you will never be perfect. You will always play a song that you think is just right but someone will complain about it later. You can't please everyone but if you finish the night knowing that most of the place was satisfied then you've done your job.
Expect more DJ related rants from me in the near future. This whole post just set me off and helped me remember a ton of other shit that I'll save for another day...
