Shawn Johnson's Taco Pops!

"My taco's the best!"
I bet it is!

"It makes my taco POP!"
I bet it does!

This commercial is fantastic and creepy at the same time. Shawn Johnson is just plain hot in her short, stubby little bow legged way. She's even cuter with her hair down instead of being pulled super tight with her eyebrows on the side of her head like she did in the Olympics. I would love to taste her taco. Believe that.

But why are these pansy ass Hamm brothers in this commercial? They kind of ruin the vibe. They sound like they just sucked on a helium tank, among sucking on other things. These "guys" bring nothing to the table and take the attention from our hottie SJ. Not cool, Ortega.

Overall, this is comedy gold and soft porn all at the same time. Too bad this wasn't a commercial for the Pink Taco...

Hakuna Obama - "He Completes Us"

I don't care if you hate him or love him but there is no way you can admit that this gushing video of Barack Obama from the Daily Show isn't funny as hell.  That is some kick ass video editing right there.  Wouldn't you say there is a little truth in all of that sarcasm?  I guess it depends what side of the fence you're on...

Entourage Season 5 Teaser - First New Episode Airs September 7th

Yeah man!  It's about f'n time Entourage made it back to HBO.  I can't wait for the first new episode to air September 7th.  What's with late start date though?  Didn't Entourage always premier in the summer?  I think that's part of the reason why it got so popular so fast, other than being a cool show.  There is absolutely NOTHING to watch in the summertime and that was always the one brightspot. 

They missed the boat on that one in my opinion.  I could have cared less about the Olympics (other than Team USA) and was really hungry for something good to watch when I got home from work and had nothing to do other than play XBox 360.  Instead, I just watched earthquake, hurricane, alien, Bigfoot and future shows on SciFi, Discovery and National Geographic.  Honestly, I could watch anything, as long as it's in HD... 

Entourage is the only reason why I even pay for that damn channel anymore now that the Sopranos are done.  I can never find a decent movie to watch with all of their channels and free OnDemand movies.  WTF!  Step your game up, HBO.  I think I've seen Knocked Up about 45 times at this point and I don't really even like it.

And can one of my friends get famous already, please?!?!  I need to be in someone's Entourage ASAP because I am really sick of working a 9 to 5.  I would like to channel my inner Turtle before I get too old.  Where you at Anonimus!?!?!

Ozzie Guillen Called Pedroia a Jockey and Made Me Spit Out My Beer

As annoying and unintelligible as Ozzie Guillen can be, you have to admit that some of the shit he says (that you can actually understand!) ends up being pretty damn funny.  He just called Dustin Predroia a jockey, yet he was paying him a compliment and basically admitting he is MVP right now:

”I never thought I was going to walk a goddamn jockey. ‘Walking a guy who just came from being on top of Big Brown. Right now, he’s on a roll. This guy right now is on fire. No matter what you throw up there, he’s going to get it. I can’t believe you can change professions in one year, go from the Kentucky Derby to the Boston Red Sox ballpark.
…
I think Pedroia is the heart of [Boston's] ballclub right now. A lot of people talk about Manny [Ramirez] leaving, I wish Pedroia was the one who was leaving because this kid can beat you so many different ways."

F*&< ya, Ozzie!  You can't stop Pedroia.  You can only hope to contain him!!!

Big Papi's Top 5 Movie List is Classic

Big Papi's Top 5 Movie List:
1) "Scarface" - I saw that one coming a mile away.  Are you allowed to play a professional sport without having a framed poster of this movie hanging in your TV room? 
2) "Anna Like This" - I thought he was talking about some spanish porn but then I realized he was saying "ANALYZE THIS"!  Ha ha. 
3) Anaconda - Woah!  I didn't see this one coming but would you expect anything less from Papi?  You know he must love that thick J. Lo ass and this is when it was in it's prime.
4) Rambo 3 - Nice!
5) Pink Panther - I have no idea but it's fantastic...

Who wouldn't want to hang out with David Ortiz?  Between the broken English and the random things that he says, I feel like you would be on the ground laughing your ass off all day long.  I think he is one of the major reasons why this Red Sox team is playing well and staying loose for this stretch run towards the playoffs.  He probably just walks around the clubhouse everyday doing a comedy hour and keeping everyone laughing and relaxed.

I know he and Manny were good friends but ever since he has left, this team has been playing well and has had even greater chemistry.  You would think that with all of the injuries to key players (including Papi himself) that this team would have a few bumps in the road but overall, they are staying in it.  Let's hope they can keep it moving for the rest of the month and kick Tampa Bay out of first in the AL East.  Go Sox!!!

Diddy Tries to Explain Why Palin is a Bad Choice for VP and Fails Miserably

Mr. Diddy, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

PLEASE SHUT THE F UP!!!

Chad Johnson Starring As "Ocho Cinco"

We all know that Chad Johnson is slightly crazy but this is on some next level shit.  He has officially changed his name to Ocho Cinco according to a recent report.  So not only will he be allowed to use Ocho Cinco on the back of his jersey (which he's wanted to do forever) but announcers will also have to reference him as Chad Ocho Cinco every time he touches the ball.  That is a perfect F you from the artist formerly known as Chad Johnson.   I can't wait to see Troy Aikman and Joe Buck cringe and act all disgusted after saying this one for the first time.  Classic.